Marriage
Have you ever wondered what is the purpose of marriage? Relationships in general are hugely important yet are very difficult to navigate. What is the foundation of godly relationships? What does the Bible say about relationships, and what does that actually look like? How do we encourage our spouses? How do we fight correctly? What does it mean to be a good wife? In these posts, you will find how to navigate marriage and serve your spouse even when you don’t feel like it.
My spouse can take care of himself, you may be thinking as you came across this post, but my child cannot. And that’s 100% true. Our children depend on us for everything from the moment of conception.
They have genuine needs that go beyond food and shelter, but safety, comfort, and love, too. So why should a spouse come before a child? And how do we even make that happen?
Year after year, people warned us of the impossible marriage challenges, but very few warnings gave us actual keys for a successful and happy marriage. So, rather than share all the doom and gloom of the difficulties, I want to encourage you and share 6 lessons learned in the last 6 years of marriage that can help you stay happy in your marriage.
The very foundation of marriage rests on the fulfillment of love and the ability to trust our spouses. Emotional support is how we understand and receive our spouses love and care. If our spouses aren’t emotionally supporting us, we can confuse that with a lack of love, and what marriage can exist, in today’s world, without love?
I looked in awe as an older couple stood in front of me and was filled with envy at their spiritual maturity as a couple. When we had a moment of privacy, I opened up how I hoped my future husband would be just as strong in his faith as her husband, but I did not anticipate her response.
The number one issue couples fight about is money. You would think that as long as you have enough money in the bank, then you wouldn’t have any problems. But the lie detector test determined that was a LIE. At the beginning of our marriage, I wouldn’t have thought twice about making these purchases. If I wanted, I bought it. But after five years, I learned that kind of thinking lead down the wrong path. Talking about money and our (more like my spending) spending habits was an essential part of our relationship.
Let me start this out by saying I am no expert in marriage. Trust me. 4 years does not make anyone an expert. But you don't have to be married 20+ years to have learned a few lessons here and there. Truth be told, you should be learning something new every day!
As David and I celebrated 4 years of marriage (and by celebrated, I mean really we are unpacking our household goods), I wanted to share the top 4 lessons I learned in the last 4 years.
The number one advice we were given when we got engaged was to compromise in marriage, and it would all work out. But all compromising did was leave me frustrated and a little resentful. My stubborn husband rarely compromised, what was I supposed to do?
Of all the attributes of love, this is by far one of the hardest ones for me.
“... [love] keeps no record of wrongs”
All too often I want to respond in an argument with a list of all the wrongdoings imposed on me, but truth of the matter is, we shouldn’t.
In the heat of the moment, when all you want to do is focus on the past and that record of hurts, pause and rise above those feelings.
Love is a choice you can make despite those feelings because our ultimate Lover, our Father God, loves all of us with all of our sin smeared all over the place. We can love because He first loved us.
How do you get your husband to help out around the house?
How do you encourage your husband to be a more involved dad?
How do you - insert all the things we wish our husbands would do?
These questions saturate the conversation whenever moms and wives get together. We are desperate for more help, desperate for involved husbands and fathers, but we don’t know what to say or do. And every attempt gets us pinned as nagging wives, and let’s be real, no one wants to be the nagging wife.
We want good husbands - good Christian husbands - so what do we do?